Terrifying Robot Update: Friday, September 5, 2014

Dear robot makers of America,

Could you please design a robot that looks and moves as much like a snake as possible?

Thanks,

-Everybody

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Oh God why? WHY IS THE ROBOT RIDING THE DRONE? WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS? WHO DOES THIS HELP?

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Yes, listen to his calm, posh British accent, let his soothing words lull you into comfort, look at that much cleaner floor, it's so clean in your home now, don't worry that the internet enabled high power suction robot is called the 360EYE and can record everything around it in a 360° panorama, you're not worried about that, you've never read Foucault and anyway your floors will be so clean, so clean...so nice and clean...

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Initially, the researchers hypothesized the humans would struggle with relinquishing control to let a machine become leader. What they found, however, was that humans were satisfied, and even preferred, to have the robot reign, because it significantly increased productivity.

When the robot lead the human team, the time it took to schedule each worker was dramatically reduced compared to when tasks were assigned manually, which took the most amount of scheduling time. Subjects also felt like the robot was intelligent enough to understand them and their goals while working.

In short, robots have no patience for tomfoolery and can easily increase productivity when given the chance. As technology evolves, so does the importance of robots as leaders.

The importance of robots as leaders. The importance of robot leaders. The important robot leaders.

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Fuck.