One-third of a tube of Maybelline Great Lash
Four-tenths of a gram of Crème de la Mer
One gel manicure, pinkie only
Seven false eyelashes
One five-thousandth of a bottle Chanel No. 5
Enough whitening toothpaste to keep 2.5 teeth bright for a year
Or...you could subscribe to The New Inquiry. Your call.