Double oral is gay

Report

Female sexual orientation is perceived accurately, rapidly, and automatically from the face and its features

Nicholas O. Rule, Nalini Ambady, Katherine C. Hallett

Tufts University, Department of Psychology, 490 Boston Avenue, Medford, MA 02155, United States

^{Received 11 March 2009
Revised 15 July 2009
Available online 25 July 2009}

when i said oh, i don’t know about red pubes, she was like, 'oh yeah, it freaked me out at first, but now I LOVE IT.'

:-.) Cindy Crawford

his bombast perturbs me. i read totality and infinity back in 2000 or 2001 but didn’t make it past page 60. sad because i know he's not a bozo.

The way in which the other presents himself, exceeding the idea of the other in me, we here name face. […] The face brings a notion of truth which is not the disclosure of an impersonal Neuter, but expression: the existent breaks through all the envelopings and generalities of Being to spread out in its “form” the totality of its “content,” finally abolishing the distinction between form and content. […] to receive from the Other beyond the capicity of the I, which means exactly: to have the idea of infinity.

i was 16 when i arrived in NY. started from the bottom, prostitution. it’s not something you enjoy, it’s just something you have to do. to make a living, to buy hormones. that’s where most transsexuals start off. no matter how lovely you can be, how real, how beautiful, how clever, you’re discriminated. you watch beverly hills 90210 and you want to emulate shannen doherty but you’re a prostitute with small tits in the meat packing district. $20 bj, $60 fuck in the car, $150 fuck at the hotel. it’s up to you to take it from there.

when they ask for a bj, you jerk them off, because you don’t like to blow a stranger, you just give licks and jerk them off and moan. one guy once asked me to put a lighter under his balls to burn his hair while he’d jerk off, he said the smell made him come. some cops were dates, they came down to get fucked, fisted, anything. other cops arrested you, i’ve been locked up like 15 times. there’s a lot you have to go through when you work in the street. you’re very exposed. i had guns put to my head, i had a girlfriend who jumped in a car with a date who didn’t know what she was, she had a skirt and he passed his hand between her legs, and felt her floppy thing, and he decapitated her, he took her head right off.

in 96 i ran into some people from hell's kitchen and met a guy who was running erotic bars in hell’s kitchen, where you show your breast and you have a salary, much safer than the street, and i was offered a job there. i had a date that i met in this bar, a real date, and i thought it was love. i moved to his place in new jersey, i stopped stripping, i spent 10 months with him but it didn’t work, he was a sweet guy but he looked at me like i was a psyche. misunderstandings, i heard it all. you just never really find someone, because you’re not a real girl. there’s no such thing as being happy as a girlfriend, the love of a man that you look for seriously, no transsexual has that. when i went back to hell's kitchen there was no more work for me but they sent me to a bdsm club in greenpoint, they were looking for someone like me, a 60 year old dominatrix named volda hired me, she mothered me, i was the only transsexual of the crew with 6 other hardcore bbw fond of brutalism and ukrainian food, we were all there to make a lot of money cheerfully. i started to see an endocrinologist, i had tests done, got a full physical, got a proper hormone treatment, 0,05 mg of this daily, 10mg of that one week per month, a real treatment versus random intakes of street hormones, i got natural hormones like premarin which is made out of pregnant mares’s urine, i quit smoking, i moved to williamsburg. hormones make your skin softer, thinner, more transparent, spider veins appear, you’re more sensitive to the cold, your skin becomes more oily, you get some strange acne, any muscle you have turns into something delicate, your fat goes to your hips and butt, you get cellulite, your body odor changes, your sweat smells less metallic, your hair turns lighter and gets curlier, your pubic hair takes on a v-pattern, your face changes, your cheekbones bounce out a little more, your jaw gets smaller, your eyes get dry, your lips get thicker, your voice might get a little softer, not always, but you can have surgery on your vocal cords, and you act more feminine, you get mood swings like women, pms, emotions, your breasts grow, your nipples become larger and more sensitive, if you take too much hormones they might milk, you still orgasm but your dick shrinks and you don’t ejaculate anymore, erections become rarer, the dark line that goes from under the dick to the middle of the balls gets darker. it’s the female hormones that you’re taking, it’s a second puberty on your body, it reprograms your body. you become true. because you’re a woman. that’s what i became. i mean i’m not walking around with a sign that says “i am really a man.” or “i am a freak.” even if i’m being read. even if you know what i am or not. some get a sex-change, they build a vj, they build vaginal lips. they even build a clitoris. i don’t want to do it. i wanted to do it for a while but you hear all this negativity, certain things that happen like you can’t orgasm, you have to lube it, or you don’t have to, or it needs to be a certain size, or it not. it’s too much negativity, if i'd only heard one answer from everybody then maybe i would have spent the money and the pain on getting it, but why should i spend like $20,000 to be a hole in a wall, and not feel anything. so i might as well stay the same.

i’m on the phone with aloha, trying to do 2 things at once and she is making me laugh.

I Don't Want to be a Boy, 1999;
The Cindy Crawford Years, 1984-1985;
To Me, You Are Simply Words on Paper, 2000;
In Bed with Boca Grande, Boca Pointe, Boca Raton, and Pembroke Pines, 2010;
Stereohell, 2009;
Stereohell Illustrated, 2009;
Queries & Records, New York, 2008-2009;
Emmanuel Levinas, Totality and Infinity: An Essay on Exteriority, Duquesne University Press, 1969.