My wife left ... on the arm of a svelte yogurt distributor

Untitled, (date unknown)

"The scale over there across the street is truly an ingenious device. One preprograms the desired new weight into it, and if one has achieved or gone below that new low weight, the scale bursts into recorded whistles and cheers and some lively marching-band tune....  A failure ... results in a flatulent dirge of disappointed and contemptuous tuba."
— David Foster Wallace, The Broom of the System (1987)