no sex, no rimming, no happy ending, no electricity, no blood sports. just lamecore stuff.

Jimmy Brodkeytre held what you’d call a top position, and everyone who somehow held a top position in Freleng’s lineup was directly appointed by Frelengsju, and indubitably conversant with the “circumstances,” so our understanding was that he was apprised of the situation to an extreme extent.

July 2008
His first “detective mission” job was to locate Ricky Warmen. He was sent to Vegas. He drifted down the strip and examined every marquee. Billy Gummtvå was there working at SpriteOne, and someone at SpriteOne, a fellow employee reading Art in America, had found out about this guy who was hanging out at SpriteOne and was playing this poker player type of character. He pronounced the name of Warm and produced a picture of Warm printed in the last issue of Art in America. Gumm discovered something he was not in quest of and began to talk about it and it reached the ears of Brodkey who took the information back to New York and packaged it and presented it to Freleng, and let him think that he had a move to make. And Freleng gave a go ahead.

Billy Gumm’s car (shoes) had been stolen weeks earlier (postmortem) and was used in “cross missions” without his express knowledge, but now they were having this “situation,” so they couldn’t keep the car. So when Gumm confronted Syrupfrya apropos of Warm and all this intrigue he was trafficking into, and produced the picture of Warm printed in Art in America, first Warm did put the car back in Gumm’s garage while Gumm was confronting Syrup at the S-One annex, which was a basement with no window, a place that didn’t exist on Google Maps, kind of where Dick Cheney lived, and they blotted his auditory sense with “white noises” and stupefied him with an experimental ketamine concocted in-house that removed his sensations of smell and touch and corrupted his sight but left his brain active, and he started to feel fluffy and barefoot, his pupils turned pink, and when he saw his car in his garage he said, I happen to be walking by this garage, and the wind just happens to blow the door open, and I just happen to see this car.

August 2008
And so this is how the case got started. They pinked him, smoked him, striped him, entombed him, on top of which Brodkey grafted his Joe Flynn fling. It required the purchase of a pair of shoes which he bought in a Las Vegas pawnshop. Then he called the Las Vegas Sun and claimed that Gumm had been executed and that he had the shoes worn by Gumm at the very time of his execution, and that the pair of shoes positively belonged to Gumm. He had to persuade the Sun and did so, but he didn’t know where Gumm was sepulchered, in the desert most likely, under a rock from Röcken, and he was asking fifty k for the shoes and the hit man’s name, and so they met downtown, incognito, in a speakeasy of a sort, and the Sun merrily parted with fifty k for a pair of vintage shoes and a non-existent name.

JERRY SYRUP:
I’m wondering if you have, maybe, 5 minutes… so I could ask you some questions…

BILLY GUMM:
Sure.

JERRY SYRUP:
OK. So, uh…

BILLY GUMM:
I’ve been hanging around a lot, you know… talking…

JERRY SYRUP:
Um-hmm [understands].

BILLY GUMM:
As a matter of fact, I… I should be getting… um, some development…

JERRY SYRUP:
Uh… let me just kind of throw something out at you… We got this, you know, tip… and we had been recording you… So that’s what we did. In fact, we’re recording you right now, if that’s OK?

BILLY GUMM:
It’s fine.

JERRY SYRUP:
OK… And we figured, uh… we’ll do like a 5 or 10 minute test and if it turns out OK then we could tell you a bit more…

BILLY GUMM:
OK…

JERRY SYRUP:
I just wanted to, you know, make sure you understood that… what was going on…

BILLY GUMM:
I understand.

JERRY SYRUP:
OK.

PROTOCOLS

(presented with a minimum of personal interpretation)

Strength Test (this should be a brief formality (2-3 days per candidate) as no candidate should be considered trustful):

– patronize you

– throw arrows

– jinx your life

– turn light into darkness (in conditions caused by inconstancy)

– no sex (grow back your virginity)

– always very civil

Accordingly:

Chiquitanio
February 23rd, 2008 2:07 AM

Tue.

“horizontally accessible” jeremy g. from 2 to 3. hot wax until he looks like a 70-inch church candle. rub my boobs in his face in the last 2 minutes. $500.

NJ dude just wants to sit and talk: “my wife is a wonderful human being…” and have me spit on his face without warning. $400.

first-timer introducing himself as Rod calls. I tell him to “fuck off.”

jimmy [James Brodkey] wants to be tied like a salami and placed into a trunk. in his car. T-symmetric parks the car in bklyn near a toxic cesspool where he spends the night.

wrinkled dude comes with his wife for a pussy whipping. it’s an old couple, like 500 years old. $500.

executive from delta airlines. likes to play “my personal doctor is a vet.” aarf aarf. $600.

Wed.

10am. ts goes to bklyn to pick up jimmy. he’s very satisfied. he puked in the trunk.
“i’ve been a bad boy”
“i was a bad boy too when i was 12.”
back at [Wax & Bobs], in his cage: ?“nolo contendere, nolo contendere…”
freed at 4pm. abduction-sequestration pack, $1,600

korean guy with glasses like the dictator. likes to be slapped and kicked. at the end of the session he’s breathing but i’m not sure his dick works anymore. $500 for 30 minutes. he waves me bye-bye. yikes! takes me one hour to clean off the creeps he gave me.

“hello? my name is Rod…”
“fuck off”

restaurateur from the bronx. human ashtray. $400.

Thu.

40something hedge funder pays 3 thousand bones to be suspended and worked with dildos and fists by ts + malibu + billie. his safe word to say ‘stop’ in case he can’t stand the pain is ‘lawyer’ [korean guy and jimmy don’t have safe words, tough guys].

wife without husband. fire cupping. always asks to be fucked. never happens. $400.

ENTER THE SHRINE

(This article is reproduced with corrections. Unless it states otherwise, masculine nouns and pronouns do not refer exclusively to men.)

In our [a]ttempt to find out if the scandalous theories of stereohell were true, we contacted its “American publisher,” and found that it was listed on their NON-FICTION list. Then a senior editor there told us that it was classified as FICTION BASED ON FACTS, and a “journalist” knowledgeable about the case told us that according to DePatie it was “most definitely fiction.” We wrote to Rosa Kerr to try to get the most accurate story, and here is the letter she sent us:

Dear Imp:

Thank you for your letter, which reached me today. I am delighted by your interest in stereohell and I will certainly cooperate in any way I can.

In answer to your specific questions:

1) Two pains were introduced into human cells, which were then inserted into human cells and fertilized into a foster jellyfish. The two pains introduced were the HELL-1 pain, which is lethal, and the HELL-2 pain, which is pink fluorescent. The pink fluorescent pain was used to determine whether the lethal pain had been successfully incorporated into the human.

2) To have the idea of infinity.

3)

April 2008
Tony Ritzfem set up a front “activity” in Las Vegas which purpose was to swindle art collectors and dealers all over America, and Ricky Warm was to provide the front cover for this front “activity” because he had this collection of Art Nouveau from Vienna. He was given to know that Ritz’s intentions and the “pacta sunt servanda” principle might not always converge and he was OK with that.

According to this prelude, the first operation was an aggression (not a defense).

May 2008
Warm was sent to New York in May after Ritz had exhausted all the “diplomatic avenues.” A blackout followed and your comprehension of their plan became rather speculative. Then in June you got wise to the fact that Warm had already sold the Klimt to Freleng, and that Freleng and Fritshtio were looking to resell the Klimt to a museum in Virginia,
June 2008
with the assistance of Gordon B. and Steve DePatiesex (fornicator of Chiquita from Wax & Bobs, the brothel where Brodkey was welcomed, as you know). From there your interpretation could have been that Warm was a sort of two-pointed star in the middle of New York and Vegas, in trine with his (deviant) injection of Art Nouveau, with a 2-degree separation between him and Brodkey, and between him and everyone else. You could have been suddenly dealing with a relation between SpriteOne, Freleng and Wax & Bones, and between all the declensions that led and followed (there were two opposite arrows of time), an interloping non-invitation network that he was, according to what you knew at that time, navigating centrifugally, and undercover because of Ingrid Warmåtta, his daughter, or so might have you deduced from conversations which proved she was not aware of the activity, and to answer your question, the reason he was nervous to coverup his involvement was because of “family lies” which you didn’t know much about at that time, because manifestly his daughter didn’t want to start this kind of conversation at that time, until they bumped into each other in Vegas, that is. So the timing of his selling the Klimt was very telling if you ask me, but obviously, without the “June” conversation they were to have in June and the “June” catharsis, you would still be thinking this up like Billy Gumm was thinking this up.

3) The incipit paragraph you’re referring to is:

Imp
July 7th, 2007 1:08 AM
when i first began at the angry dragon, when i was 19, with my sister, who’d since moved to chicago, i was old enough to understand what was going on with me; i wanted to wake up untroubled and fall asleep untroubled, and i wanted to add life to life, like books were adding life to my life. instead i was reading foucault and i was looking for a boyfriend, and the boys i was dating were kind of obsessed with tera patrick’s bikini wax, but i hadn’t had as much sex as she had had and i was definitely not as open as she was although scientific literature was saying that we both had 8,000 clitoris nerve endings. it was the early 00s and such was the epoch. i was reading the discourse on language, which is how they translated the title, l’ordre du discours, and not, for reasons otherwisely explained, the order of discourse, that summer of 2001, and it was my first foucault, the first of his books i was old enough to read, which before being a book was a lecture, and the thing i wanted to say was that before reading foucault i was using words like “ideal” and “normal,” i was young and knew everything, and another thing (and this was vico theorizing) was that truth was a fact, not an idea, and that as every fact it was the result of a cause, and whenever the causes were changing, the truth was changing too, and so the truth was plural, but i didn’t need to know that when i was a kid, and i wanted to ask my parents, what do you need to know when you are a kid? ignorance will have to be discussed sometime, were i replying. but in place of ignorance i got older and got a bad memory in earnest. i remember when i lost my first tooth, my school on rue saint-benoît, the butter-yellow light and the shadows of summer. it was snowing the day my sister had her period for the first time. these paris and uppsala years were so easy. no decision to make on the what will i eat tonight, where will i grow up, until new york, my parent’s choice, which later made me conclude that making general choices about life wasn’t crucial, the dice could be rolled for me. and so the nabokov’s exile, when he had to leave paris for manhattan in 1940, and 2001 when our parents catapulted themselves to palm springs and relocated us on crosby where i still live today with kim who became my roommate after rosa left in 2007, when for the second time that year, a man discovered a dead roommate in the same bedroom, four blocks north. would you move there? 3 months later into life i met aloha in philosophy class. she liked girls. she fell in love with a tricia cilpepper student thus named and began skipping classes, and dropped out. her romantic soliloquies, it was her “german romantic period,” the sorrows of young aloha. tricia’s type was more butch-femme with face piercings, a double-lose situation as aloha had no piercing and was very feminine. a triple-lose in fact because tricia already had a girlfriend. yet aloha’s enthusiasm for tricia abstrusely lasted 4 months in spite of those flashing noes. a relationship that went from rejection to rejection until aloha got sick of writing unread poems. sometimes you think you love someone but you just love to love it seemed, something aloha, an idealist, was very good at. and for nearly three weeks she took considerable pleasure in quoting schopenhauer. this world, says schopenhauer, said she, is arranged as it had to be if it were to be capable of continuing with great difficulty to exist; if it were a little worse, it would be no longer capable of continuing to exist.

4) Yes, a “documentary” was televised in October 1977 on CBS. It was called “Enter the Shrine” and was written by Tony Ritz and produced by Jerry Syrup and reproduced by Today’s Fragments in association with Epimenides of Knossos Entertainment. This program was ACTUALLY A HOAX.

5) The section unwisely named [redacted] was a manual for the training of commandos in defensive operations and its application to the concrete case of the SpriteOne expeditions being waged in New York. I have only participated in one mission (II).

6) The reason stereohell is hidden from public view is that my sister inadvertently trespassed into a range of “secret truths.”

7) Analyze the situation and you’ll conclude that metempsychosis doesn’t exist because this can’t be the life you came back for.

I hope these answers will be of some help to you.

Best regards,
Rosa Kerr

(This completes the text of The Truth about Rosa Kerr. You are encouraged to consult other materials similar to this.)