"I’m probably a social democrat."

“I have good credit and would be happy to sign a lease. Sadly, I don’t floss very regularly. Please don’t hold it against me.”
(Sub-standard hygiene habits! Also: Dental jokes! I don’t understand why they didn’t respond!)

• “I’ve held multiple leases (without getting kicked out or pissing anyone off)”
(The introduction of the pejorative seems unnecessary.)

• “To prove that I’m not a creep/robot…”
(Not inspiring confidence either.)

• “In my free time, I also like to watch television on my computer, sometimes write about said television on my computer, and cook a nice meal before spending time in front of my computer watching television.”
(While a perhaps accurate depiction of what I do half the week, I would not want to get a beer with this person.)

Read More | "Unfortunate Things I’ve Written In Roommate Application Emails" | Jenny An | ?The Billfold