This Week in Art Crime

Russian police say they’re looking for the intellectually minded miscreants who graffitied “Kant is a moron”—along with a flower and heart—on the philosopher’s home outside Kaliningrad.

With Arthur Schopenhauer dead for 155 years, however, authorities start off with few strong leads. They say no reason, pure or otherwise, was given for the crime. Whoever left the marking did not elaborate on their antipathy, though they reportedly used a relatively mild term.

Even the timing of the crime is unclear—journalists discovered the note, at once crude and rather refined, while exploring Kant’s derelict home. Despite repeated promises of restoration, the house remains in sorry shape, according to The Telegraph.

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Kant is a Moron

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Bronson - Untitled

Artwork by Bronson — one of the U.K.’s most violent prisoners — will soon be on display at a London art gallery.

If you haven’t heard of Bronson, then you’re probably not British. He’s been dubbed, by tabloids and the public, as one of the most notorious convicts in the U.K. prison system.

So imagine the surprise of Gabrielle du Plooy, owner of the Zebra One Gallery in London, when she discovered a stack of his art beneath a pile of papers and canvases.

The collection of 10 postcard drawings was obtained by her father, who used to own the gallery. He acquired them from a now-closed pub called Bedlam Bar. No one knows how the art ended up at the bar, said gallery spokeswoman Katie Malcolmson.

The art now also has a chance of going up for auction. The gallery will display the art on March 27 and will hold a private auction whenever a charity agrees to partner with them. She wants to donate the proceeds to a mental health charity, but the gallery hasn’t yet been able to line up a charity willing to associate with the work of Bronson.

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Bronson - Birdman

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*fail horn*

In upstate New York, a woman has been arrested after security footage revealed she stole an oil painting from the Monroe County Administration Building after purchasing a pair of dog licenses there, reports the Pocono Record.

Amanda Lou Packard, 56, was arrested yesterday for the March 6 heist, which went undetected until March 19. Once officials became aware that the painting was missing, a review of surveillance footage showed Packard absconding with the artwork about 25 minutes after she picked up her dog licenses. […]

In Monroe Country, the incriminating video was released to the public, and within hours tipsters had called in to identify Packard. Meanwhile, the thief snuck back in to return the painting, stashing it in a vestibule, an incident also caught on camera.

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Taco Bell That Art Tho

Is this hanging on the wall of someone you know?

Police say that an exact copy of the painting shown in the picture was stolen from the Taco Bell restaurant at 1345 Columbia Road.

Staff tell police that they did not did not see the heist, but think it was removed from a dining room wall sometime between 11 p.m. Saturday (March 14) and 2 a.m. Sunday (March 15).

It is acrylic paint on canvas and is valued at $800. The second copy of it remains at the restaurant.

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Taco_Bell_Night

Fake Painting

If you’re a down-and-out artist and you’re of a certain socio-psychological bent, the idea of going to a minimum security prison for a year or two in exchange for being a world-famous artist might not sound like a bad tradeoff...