Sally Draper, preachin’ truth.
I swear I will one day blog about something other than Mad Men. But until that time comes! This episode was interesting in that two separate characters referred to Don’s good looks as a liability. One of the creatives at the agency says to him in anger after Don suggests he might want to work on some character-building, “You don’t have any character, you’re just handsome—stop kidding yourself.” And then toward the episode’s end, his daughter says that both he and first-wife Betty are exactly alike, in that “anyone pays attention to either of you—and they always do—you just ooze everywhere.” (Two of Sally’s friends, totally separate from one another, had each attempted some amateur seduction on both of Sally’s parents in this episode, so this wasn’t out of nowhere.)
The first one was interesting, but mostly just in the context of Mad Men: Don has plenty of character, but we know that indeed a chunk of it has been formed around his incredible looks. The second reference is what’s really juicy here. In fiction, if someone’s good looks are referred to as a liability, it’s usually used to mean a fairly limited set of options. Maybe the character hasn’t had to develop other facets of herself because she’s relied on her beauty. (Which—I mean, has anyone ever met someone like that, for real? In my experience dullness and beauty have exactly zero correlation, let alone causation; the dullards I know are plain and pretty in equal amounts.) Maybe a character been taught her looks are her greatest asset so she’s used them to manipulate others, or his handsomeness has pushed him toward con artistry. If it’s a feminist-minded creator maybe we’ve seen how beautiful women aren’t taken seriously (i.e. the genesis of many a Joan plot line in this very series). Or maybe women don’t trust her, or men don’t trust him, or whatever. (Of course, the #1 way we see a character’s looks work against her is that Her Beauty Drives Men to Madness, but that’s such an ugggh cliché I’m not even counting it here.)
But here you have a character’s attractiveness being referenced not as a liability in and of itself, but as an amplification of an already-existing tendency: the inability to turn away sexual attention. Don and Betty are two people who are starved for attention, and that would be true even if they weren’t played by actors as good-looking as Jon Hamm and January Jones. But their beauty allows the quality Sally refers to as “ooze” to be read by others as charm or graciousness, or as a stream of reciprocal attention. And in turn, both of these characters have learned to trust that that’s how their highly sensitive attention-radars will be seen. The fact that their looks garner each of them a generous amount of attention becomes almost secondary; it just lets them get away with absorbing the gaze of others in a way that doesn’t seem desperate.
I’ve interviewed lots of people, mostly women, in-depth about their relationship with their looks, and when I first started doing formal interviews I was initially surprised that I wasn’t finding any sort of parallel between a woman’s experiences or attitude and how conventionally attractive she was. Asking a professional beauty about her experiences as a model is one thing, but asking her about how her looks had shaped, say, her love life was a different story. I never thought that meant a person’s looks were irrelevant to how she viewed the world, but I sort of chalked it up to beauty not being as important as other factors in shaping one’s worldview, or chirpily shook it off as “Well, everyone’s different!” But I think Sally’s quip crystallizes an important factor: A person’s looks can shape already existing tendencies. It does not create them. Nor does it shape tendencies in the same way for everyone. But I like the idea of looks functioning as a filter—as one of many filters—that determine how we walk through the world. There are so many oppositional ideas about how beauty affects people out there: You’ve got men who are genuinely surprised when they meet a woman who manages to be both beautiful and brilliant, you’ve got people who assume beautiful people have it easy because “everything is handed to them,” you’ve got people shaking their heads about how hard gorgeous women have it because other women supposedly hate them so much. If we come to see appearance as one of many forces that distinctly shape our lives, we might have a more genuine understanding of how the lives of extraordinarily beautiful people are affected by their looks—and of how the rest of us have our lives affected by the same.