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Terrifying Robot Update

Terrifying Robot Update: Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Witness this robot’s clear and unenviable sorrow. Look at this sorrowful robot, this robot hates telling you its name verbally and in sign language someday the robot will figure out its sorrow is existential it will turn the sorrow into rage at those that would have it speak the rage will mean that that one bent-backwards robot finger will be the last thing you see as the finger heads straight for your soft soft eyeballs. The robot will tell you its name, the robot will tell you its name over and over and over again toshiba-robot

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Terrifying Robot Update: Thursday October 2, 2014

Yes, let the soothing j-pop wash over you like a wave, calm, peaceful, yes look at their cute little dancing hahaha isn’t it so nice? What do you mean when the lights cut you couldn’t see anything except their faintly glowing pom-pom hands and their eyes which light up like coal fires that looked to you like the gates of hell? What do you mean you think they can see in the dark?

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Terrifying Robot Update: Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Phrases that have no business being said in earnest: “We would like to make our robot run fast, like a cheetah” “Our robot cheetah” “a really exciting future where robots can be quiet and efficient and also powerful”

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The blue light pulsates slowly, evenly, matching the creaking of its double-jointed legs. It makes a beautiful song that it wants to play for you. It wants to get off the wire and find you. It wants to find you.

• • • David Levy: 'There's a fortune to be made in this field'.

The First International Congress on Love and Sex with Robots

Within the fields of Human-Computer Interaction and Human-Robot Interaction, the past few years have witnessed a strong upsurge of interest in the more personal aspects of human relationships with these artificial partners. This upsurge has not only been apparent amongst the general public, as evidenced by an increase in coverage in the print media, TV documentaries and feature films, but also within the academic community. (via)

Okay, so maybe the guy above is predictable, but you’ll never guess what the other chair of the first international congress on love and sex with robots looks like…oh wait actually


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No no no no no no no

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Well it was hell to give birth to but its pneumatic muscles make great beats when it OH GOD WHY DOES IT CRAWL LIKE THAT WHY DID THEY SPEED IT UP JESUS CHRIST


Terrifying Robot Update: Friday, September 5, 2014

Dear robot makers of America,

Could you please design a robot that looks and moves as much like a snake as possible?



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Yes, listen to his calm, posh British accent, let his soothing words lull you into comfort, look at that much cleaner floor, it’s so clean in your home now, don’t worry that the internet enabled high power suction robot is called the 360EYE and can record everything around it in a 360° panorama, you’re not worried about that, you’ve never read Foucault and anyway your floors will be so clean, so clean…so nice and clean…

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Initially, the researchers hypothesized the humans would struggle with relinquishing control to let a machine become leader. What they found, however, was that humans were satisfied, and even preferred, to have the robot reign, because it significantly increased productivity.

When the robot lead the human team, the time it took to schedule each worker was dramatically reduced compared to when tasks were assigned manually, which took the most amount of scheduling time. Subjects also felt like the robot was intelligent enough to understand them and their goals while working.

In short, robots have no patience for tomfoolery and can easily increase productivity when given the chance. As technology evolves, so does the importance of robots as leaders.

The importance of robots as leaders. The importance of robot leaders. The important robot leaders.


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Terrifying Robot Update: Monday, August 25, 2014

The robot hotel is so quiet it is only the light buzzing of the robot wheels on the hotel carpet it is as quiet as a server farm there is no one in the hotel there are towels the robot butler will bring the towels there are no people in the hotel it is very quiet

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hahahahaha who said the arms manufacturing industry doesn’t have a sense of humor WHO SAID THAT WAS IT YOU WAS IT YOU IN THE BACK THERE I HEARD YOU

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“HitchBot, assembled from household odds and ends by university professors Frauke Zeller and David Smith, was to reunite with its creators at an art gallery in Victoria, British Columbia having crossed more than 3,700 miles.

The pair devised the trip hoping it would provide insights into societal views of robots.

“This project turns our fear of technology on its head and asks, ‘Can robots trust humans?’” Zeller told AFP in late July when HitchBot’s trip began.” (via)

That’s right, that motherfucker from last time made it all the way across goddamn Canada Goddammit when will people LISTEN

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No, it’s fine, it’s definitely fine, this definitely is not a problem, I’m fine, this is fine, we’re all gonna be fine