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Terrifying Robot Update

Terrifying Robot Update: Friday, August 8, 2014

See you should always let robots into your car they are safe and whimsical don’t worry human hitchhikers are dangerous and not to be trusted on the other hand robots are cute and you should pick them up and put them in your car

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A struggling Korean baseball team have invented a novel way to improve atmosphere at their matches – by bringing in a crowd of robot fans.

Hanwha Eagles supporters not able to get to the stadium can control the robot over the internet.

The bots can cheer, chant and perform a Mexican wave – but presumably not invade the pitch.


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Hahahaha a special robot just to run across the sand look at its little sand running legs it’s definitely not going to hunt us down on the beach one by one hahahahaha

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WARNING: not only terrifying surgery robot but also features nasty robot surgery footage, literally watch a robot take apart someone’s flesh, here, now, it’s gross, don’t do it, don’t look away, it’s the future, no, it’s today, robot surgery

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The way it runs away the way it runs away the way it runs away the way it runs away


Terrifying Robot Update: Friday, July 25, 2014

Don’t worry, there’s definitely no reason to be scared about a robot hand with lightning fast reflexes it’s totally chill no one will integrate this into some kind of warrior robot or soldier robot or robot cop no no it will only be used to catch foul balls at the baseball game buy me some peanut and cracker jack I’m definitely not imagining these fingers closing around my neck

Isn’t that nice it kinda has a little happy face with those headlights and definitely it isn’t just an incredibly powerful and accurate robot jackhammer

You gotta be fucking kidding me

When people confidently announce that once robots come for our jobs, we’ll find something else to do like we always did, they are drawing from a very short history. The truth is, there’s only been one-and-a-three-quarters of a machine age—we are close to concluding the second one—we are moving into the third one.

And there is probably no fourth one.

No shit. They’re gonna kill us all.



Terrifying Robot Update: Friday, July 11, 2014

Don’t worry CHARLIE the CIA robot fish is declassified now which probably means they haven’t filled the oceans with much smaller more advanced robot fish right probably there aren’t CIA robot fish in every body of water watching waiting there’s no way that would be too many CIA robot fish and anyway they admitted they made one because now they have a twitter account and they’re friendly so don’t worry the oceans and lakes are not full of CIA robots.

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Hahahaha that’s so cute Obama is playing soccer with a robot hahahaha that is so nice because Obama is known for using robots for for amusement so cute it’s a soccer drone hahahaha

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So yes historically in fiction when we send robots into space it goes badly? But don’t worry actually because this robot is just the cutest and he’s just a funny little robot we love him he is so sweet and so small don’t worry it’s all for science it’s not a terrifying dystopic reality that a tiny adorable robot branded with the name of an almost monopolistically huge manufacturer is sent into space to talk to astronauts as a press stunt.


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“California, eager to retain its role as legal arbiter to the auto world, in July will begin taking applications for driving licenses for self-driving cars. The licenses take effect in September.” California to Issue Driving Licenses to Robots





Terrifying Robot Update: Friday, June 27, 2014

Taking a pulsing red heart from a man who has emerged from pitch black darkness indicates that you are a happy and emotionally supportive robot it’s definitely not an ominous sign of an almost impossibly sublime emotional violence you will perform on all your future “friends”, you will not rip their heart out, no Pepper you are a good robot a nice robot good robot.


Hahaha, hahah, look at that it’s harmless it’s just a cute little spider robot doing a salsa dance hahaha its so cute because it’s a dancing robot spider hahahaha I love it the best thing about it is you can 3D print it you can 3D print as many as you want why not a whole army of salsa dancing robot spiders hahaha they are crawling up your legs hahaha oh the way they dance tickles your ribcage so hahahaha oh my so lovely the way they just crouch on your shoulders like that and raise their robot haunches hahaha I love dancing



Isn’t that nice the robots are fixing the little boy’s hair


I for one can’t wait until I get to hear about a school shooting or climate catastrophe or stock market collapse from one of these excellent news anchors look at their long lovely necks and they’re so emotive it really makes the news feel alive you know it really gets you right up in the thick of it, current events I mean, the only thing I love more than robots is current events talk about your perfect meeting right here of everything a guy could want





“what happens when a machine begs for its life”

January 28, 2013

At the end of the game, whether the robot was smart or dumb, nice or mean, a scientist authority figure modeled on Milgram’s would make clear that the human needed to turn the cat robot off, and it was also made clear to them what the consequences of that would be: “They would essentially eliminate everything that the robot was — all of its memories, all of its behavior, all of its personality would be gone forever.”

In videos of the experiment, you can clearly see a moral struggle as the research subject deals with the pleas of the machine. “You are not really going to switch me off, are you?” the cat robot begs, and the humans sit, confused and hesitating. “Yes. No. I will switch you off!” one female research subject says, and then doesn’t switch the robot off.

“People started to have dialogues with the robot about this,” Bartneck says, “Saying, ‘No! I really have to do it now, I’m sorry! But it has to be done!’ But then they still wouldn’t do it.”

There they sat, in front of a machine no more soulful than a hair dryer, a machine they knew intellectually was just a collection of electrical pulses and metal, and yet they paused.

Read More | “No Mercy For Robots: Experiment Tests How Humans Relate To Machines” | Alix Spiegel | NPR